keeping score

I just read Hayde's blog and came running to spit all this... that might just be overly personal, but then again why not share it?

0 hours of sleep
4 hours of tossing
and not tired just yet.

I tend to speak/write in english every time I take on really important matters, issues, hard subjects...

It's may 2009.
12 years since I found my best friend in the whole wide universe.
10 years since I left high school.
8 years since I fell in love in a deep and stupid way.
6 years since I finished my bachleors degree.
3 years since my mom's transplant.
3 years since my first visit to the psychiatrist.
3 years since I had severe hives and health problems.
3 years since I really found myself.
2 years since I meet the guy that today carries the name of my better half.
2 months since I truly forgave my dad.
2 weeks since I haven't had to pill up because of my allergies.
2 weeks since I found this calm inside that freaks me out a bit, and makes me suspicious of what may come.

It's the fifth month of the running year and I still belive this is going to be one of the greatest years of my life.


It's the fifth month in which I have my 2nd anniversary with medionaranjo, and I still don't know how this happened, against all odds, against myself, against everything.

Two fucking years went by and I have forgotten what I felt for the guy I thought to be the love of my life. He made it happen, he with his strange ways, he with that insecure cover up, he with those puppy eyes, he who comforts me like no one, he who looks at me like no one, he who I thought I would never truly love, made me fall in love with him...

I still hesitate because I'm stubborn and afraid, but he reassures me everyday that there's no one that could make me this happy, or feel so loved.

I hate knowing that I'm so into him, so many days I've tried to pull away but he manages to get me closer. I hate knowing how much I love someone... worse believing in that someone.

I HATE THAT MY DOG IS CRAZY ABOUT HIM.

Belive me I couldn't ask for more.

R. know that I love you! Thanks for this 2 perfect years! ♬ You are all I need ♬

This past 4 years have been so damn hard that I thought I would never survive to so much pain, so many obstacles, so many worries, so, so, so many things. I've felt so worn out at times, but so many others so alive and craving for what's to come. I still get desperate but just over the surface.

Come rain... come shine.
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